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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

..:: Funnies::..

The Ten Commandments rewritten according to Obama --- a sad state of affairs for America...

PATRIOT UPDATE EXCLUSIVE:
The Ten Commandments According to Obama

© 2009 The Patriot Update.Feel free to circulate this article, but pleasegive credit and link to The Patriot Update!
Click here for the Online Version.

After observing Obama on the campaign trail and during his first six months in office, we have concluded that our President lives and governs according to his own set of "Ten Commandments." They're certainly NOT the Ten Commandments you learned in Sunday School. In fact, many are the direct opposite! To prove that our conclusions are correct, you will find a link to source documentation for each commandment on the Patriot Update web site.

I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.) SOURCE

II.Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore. SOURCE

III.Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama. SOURCE

IV.Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy. SOURCE

V.Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money. SOURCE

VI.Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby. SOURCE

VII.Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed. SOURCE

VIII.Thou shalt not steal, until you've been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives. SOURCE

IX.Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian. SOURCE

X.Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet. SOURCE

OCA Features:

Liberal Quotes to Ponder:

"It is a decision of the Supreme Court. So this is almost as if God has spoken."

~Nancy Pelosi responding to the Supreme Court's decision on "eminent domain"

Thats right Walgreens has pulled the famous Chia Pet Obama from its shelves!!

Obama Chia Pet Gets The Boot From Walgreens

Chia Pet Creator 'Shocked' After Walgreens Pulls Obama Model From Shelves

Chia Pet creator Joseph Pedott says he was "shocked" when he found out Walgreens was dropping his Chia Obama.

The creator of the Chia Pet is ch-ch-cheesed off after Walgreens pulled a special-edition Chia Obama from its shelves -- apparently over concerns that it might offend customers.

Walgreens was not available for comment, but Chia Pet creator Joseph Pedott told FOXNews.com he was "shocked" when he found out the mega-pharmacy was dropping his merchandise.

The Chia Obama, a bust of the 44th president with sprouting grass-like "hair" in the tradition of the classic Chia Pet, was stocked at the Tampa and Chicago Walgreens stores as a test run.

Pedott said company executives approved the product ahead of time, but it was on the shelves for less than a week when he got an e-mail Friday from Walgreens saying "it's not our image."

"I'm sick about it," Pedott, 76, said, disputing any suggestion that Chia Obama's Chia hair was mocking the Afro hairstyle.

"Obama had an Afro -- does that make him racist?" Pedott said. "So how the hell do you get racist out of it? And number one, you can give him a haircut."

Pedott said he is a Republican, but he voted for Obama and was just trying to do right by the new president.

"It's Americana," Pedott said. "I thought I would take the good name of Chia and support the good things that he's trying to do. ... That was a labor of love."

Pedott said he was so confident the Chia Obama was not offensive he even asked the Rev. Jesse Jackson to screen it when he ran into him recently at a Chicago eatery.

"He said, quote, 'I think this is a find product,' end quote -- I have three witnesses," Pedott said.

It's not the first famous figure Pedott has Chia-ified. He's created prototypes for a Hillary Clinton model, though he hasn't rolled it out on the shelves yet. Plus he did one for Mr. T, at the request of Mr. T's people.

Pedott had to pull advertising for the $19.99 Obama product after hearing from Walgreens, but said he'll try to convince other retailers to give it a go. He's already been putting a lot of work into the marketing.

The online product details give a pretty compelling pitch.

"Can you grow one? YES YOU CAN," they say.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/first100days/2009/04/09/chia-pet-creator-shocked-walgreens-pulls-obama-model-shelves/

Get your Chia Pet Now, click below..they have a recorded message for you aboust this special Obama Chia:

ROFL

The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife..

Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party ... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance.

This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana, nicknamed " Bearack Obearma."

Swimming Pool Economics

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill.

Can you explain it to me?"
The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday, I'll be glad to explain it to you."
At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.
They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can."

The student did as he was instructed.
The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it."

The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.
The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.
The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"
The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.
The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough. However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting time and effort on an unproductive pursuit. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at exactly the same level it was before!"
The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."

The First Chrysler

" Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it".........Walter Chrysler